DESTINY by Killer Bee

This album is the third and final entry in my DEVOTION trilogy. This last chapter has been a long time in the making. I've been working on this album for about a year and a half since DESIRE dropped, with the majority of it was made during the Black Lives Matter 2020 movement, COVID-19, and the subsequent quarantine/lockdown in 2020. I've felt trapped for a long time, but the feeling intensified this year. I'm grateful to be in a position where I'm not totally isolated or alone and that I have food to eat, whereas millions of people this year have had to suffer lockdown in abusive situations, pressure from being or with food insecurity due to gross negligence by the federal government and society in general. Being in lockdown also changed how I worked on music: with more people at home, I had to shift my production in the box which lead admittedly to more work being produced, but less of my production involving acoustic or electric instruments, including guitar and voice. But necessity is the mother of invention, and scarcity is its cousin.

So I set out to make a body of work that reflects and is a culmination of all I've been feeling during that period of time and since my last major album. Themes and feelings that have been present since DESIRE up until now, as well songs that investigate and contextualize these feelings in the broad sense of destiny and of the future. There are lyrics and samples that reflect the feeling of despair I feel at times. Like there isn't a way out. And if there is, I can't see it.. Feelings of being trapped by a career and passion that I've devoted all my time and poured everything into without the financial stability to live on my own. The feeling of shame I feel of being 27 and still living at home. The feeling of disappointment week after week of being rejected by companies for 4+ years. Of not being able to make it at a major music studio in the city because my skin wasn't thick enough. The one opportunity I had for a steady career in something I'm passionate about and I blew it. I cried back on the train because I let my family, my friends, and myself down. People that have sacrificed everything for me and friends that let me crash on their couch.

And there are melodies and loops littered throughout the record that portray the wrath I feel watching my unarmed Black and Brown brothers/sisters continue to be unjustly murdered by police. Immigrant communities and students being maliciously deported without a second thought to their humanity. To our own collective humanity. Feelings of frustration I felt watching protestors being dispersed with excessive brutality and tear gas or watching journalists' rights being trampled by an authoritarian and militant police force. Frustrated at the state of advanced capitalism that has exacerbated wealth inequality to the point that people need to work two jobs just to put food on the table. Though labor productivity grew 70% from 1979, the hourly pay of workers stagnated, rising only 11.6% over 39 years (www.epi.org/productivity-pay-gap/#:~:text=From%201979%20to%202018%2C%20net,(after%20adjusting%20for%20inflation).

Meaning that the vast majority of profits have flowed to and been accrued at the top, eroding the middle class and widening wealth inequality. And people have been brainwashed to blame their fellow Americans, minorities, the poor/most vulnerable or immigrants for it. Rather than a broken and corrupt political and economic system that has benefitted the wealthy and has scraped away social safety net programs, education, arts, and more since the 80s. There are songs in this record that reflect these themes and try to paint a dystopian, yet foreseeable future - how humanity has underestimated the malevolent use of technology in the name of "progress" or profit. Giving up freedom and privacy for convenience. The data that has been mined has been systematically weaponized to spread disinformation in an attempt to divide and sway, to the point of violence and hate. Right now, there are people protesting to stop counting votes in a presidential election fueled by a president campaigning and suing to throwing "certain" votes out. The institutions of democracy are only as strong as its citizens' vigilance. If personal data has become the new oil, ask yourself what the pursuit and subsequent systematic extraction and deployment of oil has done to Earth. Through pollution, plastic waste, and climate change. But I understand now. I understand how people can be brainwashed into giving into hate, authoritarianism, white supremacy, racism, misogyny and more. To the privileged, equality feels like oppression. And when you don't have a support system, you seek any system that supports you.

Even though some of the album revolves around the darker side of the concept of destiny, I wanted it other parts to reflect some hope as well. A brighter future that I hope to one day see. For myself and for society. Even through all of these turbulent emotions, I've had music to anchor me even if my relationship with it has become toxic. I've had fans who've reached out to connect with and ground me. I'm beyond grateful for all the support shown to me these past few years and this is my way of paying them back. There are many people who go through life never finding their purpose or doing what they love. I consider myself to be extremely blessed to be in a position where I wake up in the morning and know exactly what I need to do that day - make music. No matter how down I'm feeling, I always find myself opening Ableton. Like destiny is there to drag me along - whether I want to or not. I'm not sure if I will ever get to the point of financial security with my craft, but for this brief moment in time (and it is brief in the grand cosmic scale) I will continue making music full time until I can't anymore. And maybe that's soon. But maybe that's why it might sound so bright on the surface. It's the first album I feel like I'm turning to the future rather than dwelling in the past. Pursuing new genres and sounds that excite and interest me, even if it's a sound that some new/old listeners may not expect. I think my music is cyclical - it transitions between genres that I'm familiar with to ones that I'm excited by until the point where I'm comfortable and it consolidates into a coherent project (e.g. lofi hip hop -> 'Venus EP' -> 'Otaku'). So ironically, this might be my most cohesive project since 'Otaku'.

It's a strange thought but in any case, I want this album to connect to anyone who has ever felt the same - anxious or stressed about the future. About your "destiny". About the idea of never living up to your potential and the immense weight that that pressure carries. The idea of fear and failing paralyzes, so you don't even try in the first place. All my life I've heard that word - potential. But that's all I've heard. Talent is nothing without refinement. Can baby steps really carry you up a mountain that grows exponentially every day? Like no matter what you do, there is always more to be done the next day so you never achieve a feeling of accomplishment and you're always chasing after perfection. And you can't let go. That fear is crippling. But the truth is that taking that first step and just taking a step every day does progress you towards a goal, no matter how impossible it seems. You have a gravitational effect on the galaxy and on the universe, no matter how small. .000000001% is still not nothing. And therein lies a glimmer of hope for the future. To see the beauty in life where sometimes it feels like there is none. So instead of feeling paralyzed and wallowing in the known, the comfortable, or in the past, I want people to feel optimistic about the future when listening. About your relationships and love - "Will I ever find the right one?" "Will I ever find someone who understood me as they once did?" About finding a job that you enjoy and you feel fulfilled at. Just know that you're not alone. I want this record to generate light where there is none.

The album art is a picture I took on a Canon AE-1 Program in Diver City, Tokyo and I wanted it to serve as a reflection for myself as well as the audience - a reflection of "the spectacle", viewed through screen after screen after screen. The blurring of the commoditization and nature of reality, something that COVID and its subsequent lockdowns forced us to reckon with. For me, it meant returning to nature, taking a lot more hikes and focusing on things that are real and meaningful to me like family and music. Technology has led to the erasure of the physical self in favor of the avatar through the means of social media and more. The hyper-capitalist market and its advertisers constantly try to to convince you that you're not enough - you're not pretty enough, you're not rich enough, you're not athletic enough, etc. etc. so we chase an endless stream of material goods to fulfill a desire that was implanted by the spectacle in the first place. So I wanted to reflect on all of this. On my own physical/digital avatar and especially as an artist in today's world where I feel the pressure to constantly post to drive engagement and attention or risk being lost in a sea of information. And on my own desires for fame and material wealth, as well as serve as a mirror to the listener as well.

But the realization and rejection of the hyper-material/digital superficiality is up to all of us. I don't want the album to feel utopian nor dystopian. It's open ended. It's why it ends with a question and why It's up to us to forge a better future - for everyone. A future worth fighting for. A more merciful one that is inclusive of and supports everyone regardless of gender identification, sexual preferences, immigration status, wealth, religion, etc. And yes, I get the paradox of not being able to tolerate the intolerant, but a society that self regulates perfectly seems utopian to me as technology and its misuse has proven thus far. I agree with the philosophical standing that the tolerance of intolerance leads to the obliteration of tolerance. So it's up to us as a democratic society to reign in hate speech and racism at every turn and to hold people accountable for their actions. And more than anything, I hope that it serves as a fitting end and conclusion to the trilogy and this arc of my artistic journey. I'm excited for what's next.

And like always, a ton of different things influenced the album: Music artists like DJ Rashad, Kaytranada, DJ Quik, Spiral Tribe, Mutant Joe, Seiho, Bladee, Trash Island, Ecco2k, Gemmy, Mumdance, Budgie, Tyler, The Creator, Madlib, slowdive, My Bloody Valentine, Drexciya, AceMo, Jacy, Telefon Tel Aviv, MOMA Ready, 2 AM/FM, Aphex Twin, Burial, blackwinterwells, 8485, Daine, ericdoa, glasear, sebii, glaive, umru, Himera, A.G. Cook, grandee, mixed matches, sewerslvt, Charli XCX, PC Music, SOPHIE, Hanna, Mood Hut, Arca, hook, zephyr, Phoebe Bridgers, Blackpink, Batu, Dip in the Pool, Jean Dawson, Skee Mask, Bobby Konders, moodymann, Virtual Self, Porter Robinson, Madeon, Armor For Sleep, Neck Deep, Thundercat, Dean Blunt, Hype Williams, Yves Tumor, Vegyn, Tim Reaper, Blood Orange, Playboi Carti, Lil Uzi Vert, imnotmelrose, DJ Krush, Skepta, Headie One, Stormzy, Griselda Records, MF Doom (R.I.P.), Roc Marciano, MJ Cole, Conducta, Prescirbe Da Vibe, Gilles Peterson, Grimes, Freeez, Blue Moon Orchestra, Stargaze, Sylvester, Kano, Herbie Hancock, Earth, Wind, & Fire, Parliament, The Isley Brothers, Ronnie Laws, Truth, RSVP, Kleeer, Zapp, Chain Reaction, Soccer Mommy, Tricot, Mitsumi Hasegawa, J Dilla, Nujabes, DJ Shadow, DJ Assault, Light of the World, Sunny Day Real Estate, American Football, Rina Sawayama + more. Composers like Hans Zimmer and Cliff Martinez. Albums like 'Whole Lotta Red' by Playboi Carti, 'Knick Knack' by Mutant Joe, 'BUBBA' by Kaytranada, 'summer death' by Marietta, 'Punisher' by Phoebe Bridgers, 'Pixel Bath' by Jean Dawson, 'Shore' by Fleet Foxes, 'Kick I' by Arca, 'Heaven To A Tortured Mind' by Yves Tumor, 'e' by Ecco2k, '333' & 'Exeter' by Bladee, 'Good Luck' by Bladee & Mechatok, 'I Disagree' by Poppy, 'Fetch the Boltcutters' by Fiona Applegate, 'Eternal Atake' by Lil Uzi Vert, + more. Artists like David Rudnick, Tyler Mitchell, Jean Michel Basquiat, Daniel Arsham, Kenny Scharf, George Condo, Hattie Stewart, Moebius, Obi Agwam, Genesis Tramaine, teffy, Freddy Carasco, Rinko Kawauchi, Moriyama Daido, Motoyoki Daifu, Vampirinho, Andy Gilmore, Ghost Snacks, dyinginkyoto, yuckie, Noah Baker, 8Dalek, tekkons, Mina Hamada, Sumito Owara, + more. Genres like City Pop, Italo-House, Disco, Electro Boogie, Soul, Drum n Bass, Grime, Soul, IDM, Downtempo, Techno, Acid House, House Music, Emo, Pop Punk, UKG, Hyperpop, Funk, City Pop, nUKG + more. Anime and cartoons like Assassination Classroom, Fooly Cooly: Progressive, Ghost in the Shell, Fruits Basket, Kaguya-sama: Love is War (Season 2), Re: Zero (Season 2), Tower of God, Kokoro Connect, Bleach, Fate Zero, Keep Your Hands Off Eizoukan!, Vinland Saga, Blue Spring Ride, Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma, Devilman Crybaby, B.N.A., Powerpuff Girls, Dexters Lab, K.N.D. + more. Designers like Jeremy Scott and Raf Simons, fashion brands like Prada, Dior, and Vivendi, and video games like Jet Set Radio, Borderlands, and Chrono Trigger. Chefs like Padma Lakshmi, Nini Nguyen, Eric Adjepong, Gordon Ramsay, and Grant Achatz. Shows like Top Chef and Great British Bake Off and books like 'Society of the Spectacle' by Guy Debord, 'Surveillance Capitalism' by Shosana Zuboff, "Capital in the 21st Century' by Thomas Piketty, and 'Fire Next Time' by James Baldwin. Movements like Black Lives Matter and the 90s rave scene, things like early 2000s aesthetics, coding, Xcode, Unity, and so so much more that has filtered its way into my work one way or another.

I also wanted to dedicate this album to the lives of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Elijah McClain, Andres Guardado, and George Floyd. Huge thanks to everyone who helped make the album, thanks to my friends and family for always supporting me more than I deserve, to my writer/artist friends for inspiring me, and most importantly thank you to my fans or to anyone who has ever listened to my music. I hope you like it <3

Love -
Bee

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Liner Notes

1. 0110010001100101011000010111010001101000 (Death)
Contains elements of: "How You Like That" by BLACKPINK. 'Ghost In The Shell' by Masamune Shirow/Production I.G. © 1995. PS2 startup sound by Sony.

Notes: I wrote the track in binary to better fit the album's aesthetic and partly to tease my fans when they try to search for it on streaming services lmfaoo. It translates to "Death" in ASCII. I saw it as a non-dualistic way of starting the album, as I'm heavily inspired by Zen Buddhism and lends to the cyclical nature of the project. Death/life are just two sides of the same coin. The track is heavily inspired by genres like Trance and Eurohouse and artists like Himera and Virtual Self/Porter Robinson who are geniuses. Overall I wanted to portray what I thought a rave set in the "Ghost in the Shell" universe would sound like. It's wild how relevant that movie and its philosophy is today. The dialogue towards the end is from the English dub of the 1995 movie so shout out to Masamune Shirow who is brilliant, I still have to watch Appleseed. I wanted the PS2 noise at the start to trigger a sense of nostalgia for those who grew up on it as I spent hours playing games like Budokai 3. It also reinforces that early 2000s Y2k aesthetic I'm going for on this track.

Finally, I started the album with this track because I think it's the most emblematic of the album's ethos and circles around the idea of a techno-dystopia that humanity is seemingly careening towards (if we're not already there). Society has underestimated the extent corporations and bad faith actors would go to mine personal data and exploit it. And how easily people are willing to give up their privacy in exchange for convenience and entertainment. The whitewashing of TikTok's feed and its censorship, the commodification of culture and the creation of the digital avatar, etc. This exploitation has led to mass distrust and division, which most recently, culminated in the Jan. 6th insurrection after people were fed with months worth of misinformation. But all of this is nothing new. The war on terror and the Patriot Act laid the foundation to giving up freedom for a veil of "safety." We're addicted to our phones, we're addicted to our digital avatars. The erasure of the physical self in exchange for the digital.

And the machine keeps churning along..but no one is perfect, it's just the reality we live in. I don't want these liner notes or letter to come off as a "holier than thou" type speech (and I apologize if they do), I'm just writing all of this to hopefully convince you to become just a tiny bit more aware of your habits and of your surroundings. Of all the advertisements and agendas around us disguised as discounts and conveniences. Either way I'm guilty of all of this too, shout out BLACKPINK I would literally die for LISA lmfaoo.


2. Desire
Contains elements of: "Love You So" by Soul For Real. 'Sing Yesterday For Me (イエスタデイをうたって)' by Kei Toume/Doga Kobo.

Notes: The intro monologue is from a scene in the anime 'Sing Yesterday For Me' in which the main character confesses his love to the girl he likes, a recurring theme in my music and one that hopefully reinforces the feeling of a daydream. I named the song "Desire" as a tongue-in-cheek reference to my last major album and the previous installment in my DEVOTION series, 'DESIRE.' The first track off that album and this track mirror each other as I view them as two sides of the same coin. Dichotomy is always an important factor in my art and I love the idea of leaving little bread crumbs listeners to pick up on. So, much like "DESTINY (feat. Hatsune Miku)" actually dealt with desire, this track centers on the concept of destiny. Of trying to get over past break ups and look towards a brighter and more hopeful chops. Hopefully the bright synths reflect that, though I wanted that sense of nostalgia to still be present with the vocal chops. Shout out to Soul For Real, had a blast chopping up that sample and I connected with the words/phrases they individually formed: "'Cause I don't want you" / "I don't want you to be alone" / "To be alone" / "Want you alone." I loved the idea of the chops each saying very different things but still come from a similar place of love/jealousy. The dichotomy of having that really bright instrumental against the lyrics and chops was important to me as some days I truly still feel hopeless, like nothing will ever change for me. Like I've just been going in circles these past few years..chasing after my destiny but never quite reaching it.

I hope to connect with any listener who feels the same way and remind them that there is hope. This bright instrumental represents that hope to me and it represents what music is to me — an outlet and a reason to get up in the morning. It's so important to have a creative outlet, whether it's through writing or design or acting or watching films, just keep trying new things and see what interests you until you find that thing you're truly passionate about. And hopefully one day it'll anchor you and drag you (kicking and screaming) into a brighter future — your destiny.


3. Mind (마음) [feat. 김배정]
Contains elements of: "You're Always On My Mind" by SWV. "Watch SOPHIE and Sophia the Robot discuss the future of creativity" by DAZED.

Notes: The last song to come together for the album, huge thanks to Baejeong for coming through with the vocals last minute. The song presents two sides of love and desire. One side circles around the idea of ascribing all of your hopes and desires to one person, almost the point of obsession and representing a form of hyper reality. I think in the digital age and proliferation of social media, it's so easy to ascribe all of your dreams onto a person and what you wish a person is like even when you've only seen them on a screen. In reality, you may not know them at all as we're all putting up masks constantly and you're only seeing one side of your favorite actor, musician, actress, idol, etc. I can see how that form of idolization/love can become obsessive and toxic. I've talked about a similar feeling in the past, viewing my own past loves as an amalgamation of a dream girl that doesn't exist. So I loved the idea of juxtaposing that kind of toxic mentality and yearning against the pure and more hopeful side of desire. Two sides of the same coin. Some people can read this song as uplifting and hopeful, and others can find a sense of longing and heartbreak. That's what I love about music and I love playing those kind of mind games with my music. I also wanted to fuse the cinematic elements of K-Pop with a dreamy dance vibe so shoutout SWV, shoutout DAZED, and rest in peace to SOPHIE. I can't believe she's gone. I listen to her 'HEAV3N SUSPENDED' set everyday. A true pioneer, icon, and artist who never compromised. I hope to achieve a fraction of what she achieved in her devastatingly short time on Earth. Gone too soon, r.i.p.

Lyrics:
맑고 순수한 너의 그 눈빛
날 사로잡기에 충분했어
환한 미소와 너의 향기
만화 속 주인공 같던 소년

Your eyes were so clear and pure,
(That was) enough to captivate me
Your bright smile and that perfume,
Just like a boy in anime/Disney

너를 잊는 건, 자신이 없어
난 이미 네게, 빠져 버린걸

Forgetting you, I don’t dare (=I’m not confident to forget you)
‘Cause I’m already addicted to you (=Fell in love with you)

너- 나에게 소중한 너-
내게 하나뿐인 너-
별과 같이 빛나는- 너-
나- 용기를 내어서 나-
너에게 다가가 나-
오늘은 말할거야 나의 너-

You, my precious
You, my only one
You, shining like a star
Me, I summon the courage
Me, today(tonight) I come to you
and confess,
to you (that you belong to me)

너를 잊는 건, 자신이 없어
난 이미 네게, 빠져 버린걸

Forgetting you, I don’t dare (I’m not confident to forget you)
‘Cause I’m already addicted to you (Fell in love with you)

너- 나에게 소중한 너-
내게 하나뿐인 너-
별과 같이 빛나는- 너-
나- 용기를 내어서 나-
너에게 다가가 나-
오늘은 말할거야 나의 너-

You, my precious
You, my only one,
You, shining like a star
Me, I summon the courage
Me, today(tonight) I come to you
and confess,
to you (that you belong to me)

나에게 소중한 너,
별과 같이 빛나는,
너에게 말할거야,
나의 너-

You, my precious,
Shining like a star,
I will confess to you,
to you (that you belong to me)

너- 나에게 소중한 너-
내게 하나뿐인 너-
별과 같이 빛나는- 너-
나- 용기를 내어서 나-
너에게 다가가 나-
오늘은 말할거야 나의 너-

You, my precious
You, my only one
You, shining like a star
Me, I summon the courage
Me, today(tonight) I come to you
and confess,
to you (that you belong to me)


4. Nice
Contains elements of: 'Lord of the Decks Vol. 2' by Hot Headz Promotions. "Nice and Soft" by Wish. "Na Na Na (Dulce Niña)" by Kumbia Kings. 'Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (かぐや様は告らせたい ～天才たちの恋愛頭脳戦～)' by Aka Akasaka/A-1 Pictures.

Notes: Big up to the whole "Lord the Decks" series which is a trill look at the origin of Grime in the U.K. I always try to incorporate some of my love for the U.K. in my albums and I especially loved this part of the monologue where the MC (I believe Durrty Goodz?) is describing himself as not just a garage MC but as a versatile artist, something that I can relate to as I'm always trying to subvert expectations/labels and break out of any boxes people put me in. The Kaguya-sama anime is goated and shoutout Wish, they're able to emote so much emotion through dance music, a challenging task that I've been trying to get better at. I sampled Kumbia Kings as I grew up listening to them when I visited my cousins in Mexico so I wanted to capture that sense of nostalgia and represent music influenced by regional Mexican music. Plus that accordion and trumpet melody are extremely catchy haha. I'm definitely going to try and incorporate more of my cultural background in my music because the percussive rhythms and melody structures in cumbia, reggaeton, corridos, etc. are amazing.

The last section of the song is inspired by genres like Hyper Pop/Digicore/whatever you want to call it lmao been listening to 'COA' by Ericdoa on repeat, Glasear and kimj are geniuses. I just wanted to express the desperation I felt this year and that I've been feeling for a while now. Will I ever grow up? Can I ever leave? The feeling of being stuck in the same place. Being so focused on the music that I can't spend the energy to care about anything else. I also wanted to comment on consumerism in American society and the role it takes in our everyday social media consumption. Fuck De Beers, diamonds are a fake monopoly. It's so embedded in our society to prove our worth through monetary value. How big is the rock? How big is the truck? How big is your house? We see it everyday when we scroll. Celebrities flaunt 15+ cars when 16 million kids in the U.S. don't know where their next meal will come from.

Lyrics:
Got me fucked up, got me, got me fucked up
I don't give a mother fuck
I don't give a mother fuck?
What you want? Diamond ring, Bentley truck?
Ain't got much, I got love
I got what you really want
What you want?
Can I grow up?
Can I grow up?
Will I grow up?
Can I grow up?
And leave?
Can I breathe?


5. Fire Next Time
Contains elements of: Black Lives Matter protests in NYC. Jacob Blake's sister Letetra Wideman's news conference speaking on her brother being shot by police. 'Video Rare Footage Of The Week - Jay Z, Damon Dash - Roc a Fella Backstage In The Good Ol' Days!' by Roc-A-Fella. Memories of Green (みどりの思い出)" by Yasunori Mitsuda from the Chrono Trigger Soundtrack.

Notes: Yasunori Mutsuda and Nobuo Uematsu are goated, I started replaying Chrono Trigger and am always blown away by the soundtrack. I strive to get my music that nostalgic, wistful, and triumphant. And the fact they pulled it off on an SNES chip that I think only had 4 channels to it is mind blowing. I guess it's that "constraint is the cousin of creation" type thing. The song title is a nod to the James Baldwin book and the line in the spiritual it originally came from. I read James Baldwin this past summer during the George Floyd protests to further educate myself and those around me of the inequities POC face. He quickly became one of my favorite authors. Supremely intelligent, Baldwin may not have had the same fiery rhetoric as Malcolm X, or the optimism of MLK Jr., but what he presented was instead brutal honesty with a warmth that I'm not able to express with words. A warmth that carried a profound sadness at the state of race relations in the U.S. He simply presented his reality with prose that cut like knives. He understood that if things didn't get better, it would be the "fire next time." The "Fire, fire" part of the chant comes from an NYC BLM protest in the summer of 2020 and I looped it to further reinforce the point. Baldwin didn't view individual white people as his enemy, yet he understood that the white supremacist capitalistic system that protected them was the enemy of all POC alike. He left Harlem as a young man because he saw what the system wanted him to become. The same system that is continuing to systematically kill and oppress Black and Brown people all over the country. Philando Castile. Tamir Rice. Seen as an adult who "shouldn't have been playing with untipped airsoft guns" yet Kyle Rittenhouse was "just a kid" and ultimately hailed as a hero by the alt-right for killing two people in "self dense." When you carry a large enough hammer, everything looks like a nail. This system kettles peaceful protestors yet allows a crowd of Trump insurrectionists to overrun and storm the Capitol building. Ask yourself how far BLM protestors would have gotten.

Black Lives Matter. No justice, no peace.


6. No More Water
Contains elements of: Black Lives Matter protests in NYC. 'Footage of a trans woman being arrested and placed in an unmarked van by NYPD' by unknown/ACLU. 'Video Rare Footage Of The Week - Jay Z, Damon Dash - Roc a Fella Backstage In The Good Ol' Days!' by Roc-A-Fella. "You Know How To Love Me" by unknown. "Party People" by Alex Gopher.

Notes: This track was originally a part of "Fire Next Time" but I thought it deserved its own space. I made this track, "Fire Next Time" and "Nice" all in one week in the summer of 2020, which is why they seamlessly transition. My feelings were at a boiling point and I felt like I had to just channel everything I was feeling regarding the lockdown, our failed leadership and its botched response to the pandemic, and the death of George Floyd. To me, these three tracks represent the second act of the album, with tracks #1-#3 fitting into the first act and tracks #6-9 fitting into the final act ("Que Sera" is kind of the curtain call lmao). The track is heavily inspired by rave culture and genres like 90s Acid House and Ghetto Tech. The last drop/part represents the chaos and cacophony of the protests that erupted last summer, and I wanted to imbue the idea of the "no more water" part of the spiritual. The drop samples a few videos of plainclothes NYPD officers arresting protestors and throwing them into vans. When the police can outlaw protests against their own state-sanctioned violence and disperse peaceful protestors with said violence, then it is clear that our freedom isn't a right but a privilege - granted to those in power or to those who help solidify that power to the benefit of the state and its structure. "Freedom is never given voluntarily by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed."


7. Glaceon_Louvre Freestyle
Contains elements of: "Gucci Mane Freestyle" by Gucci Mane shot by Hoodffairs TV. 'ReLIFE' by Yayoiso/TMS Entertainment. "Son of 'There's No Place Like Homerton'" by Hatfield and the North. 'Belly' by Hype Williams. Contains an interpolation of "Lost Woods" by Koji Kondo from the 'The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time' Original Soundtrack.

Notes: Shout out to the goat Koji Kondo. Just wanted to give a nod to another one of my favorite games ever and it's just another example of me trying to emulate that kind of nostalgia and wistfulness that the "Lost Woods" melody imparts. It also allows me to have a shared memory with the listener, imprinting that sense of longing and nostalgia that comes with such an iconic tune and soundtrack in general. I remember playing Zelda at my friend Jack's house in his basement on the N64. The memory is so vivid. Things were so simple..but we all have to grow up one day. Technology has allowed us to look further and further in the past, to the point of missing out on the present moment. Facebook, Instagram, Myspace. We can pull up pictures of an ex or read messages from 10 years ago at a click of a button. We've built quite the comfortable prison. And the more we move forward, the more we want to experience the past. I watched ReLIFE and wanted to sample it here because I think it reinforces that idea of dwelling in the past and the idea of regret and doing things over again. Would you change anything?

This Gucci Mane freestyle is legendary and I had a blast flipping it. I loved the dichotomy between these two melodic elements. Hatfield and the North are an incredible band. Shout out the whole Canterbury prog rock scene. Mental that it produced not only HATN but Caravan and Soft Machine. Their songs are so intricate and I definitely want to get more into progressive rock to really push myself and experiment with more live instruments. I also loved the lyrics of the song and how it describes how everything fades away like the seasons. So playing with that impermanence and it just so happened that I released this album at the end of a long winter in the hopes of summer and something brighter. When I first heard the sample I cried. I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, it was the first time it had happened to me. I don't really know what happened, I think I was just so exhausted and it was just so beautiful I felt like I didn't deserve to hear it. I knew no flip or chops were ever going to be worthy of it so I just kept it super minimal. I wanted to let the sample breathe and share that moment of beauty with the listener, like the suns' rays poking out of a gray sky (it also marks the beginning of the third act of the album). When I think about the interconnectedness of all things and how music has played into such a large part of that for me, that moment sticks out.


8. Fantazia
Contains elements of: "Life's A Bitch" by Sister Bliss featuring Colette. "Freestyles" by Shabba Ranks. "Body Rush" by Maureen Owen.

Notes: This was probably the first track I made for DESTINY in 2019. Another one of the many tracks that are inspired by genres like Acid House and the 90s rave scene. I loved Colette’s verse on Sister Bliss’ original record so shouts to the whole 90s UK dance scene. I sampled the parts that really resonated with me at the time. I was frustrated with where I was at in my career and it was kind of destiny to stumble upon a sample that basically listed so many of the complaints I had and just articulated my frustrations perfectly. “I can’t get a job / I can’t get a man” articulated the feelings of being rejected over and over again by companies these past few years and the frustration/stress that comes with any job search. And especially in the midst of a pandemic, I can only imagine what 2020 high school and college graduates are going through. And though Colette/Sister Bliss outwardly direct their frustration towards life, I wanted to take a more focused approach of gauging the effects of late stage capitalism and its ailments. Our essential workers aren't getting essential wages, and look how quickly the "heroes" of COVID turned into "unskilled laborers" the moment any type of wage increase enters the conversation. Our society refused to shut down in many places because people needed the distractions. They need their shopping malls, movie theaters, and restaurants and our economic system could not comprehend shutting down for any amount of time as it would impact their profits. And distracted from what? From a long work week where many Americans are underpaid and overworked with little to no benefits. The only thing they have to look forward is not working and the break the weekend presents. But instead of viewing the system as the problem, many people turn their ire towards each other. To immigrants, to LGBTQ+ people, and to the poor. Left vs. right.

So this song is kind of an anthem about all of this. About a government that only gave us $5 a day during a pandemic. "I can't pay no bills" And Colette said it the best in the middle of the song, something I resonated deeply with. The truth is I don't want to work at a corporation mindlessly slaving away. Time is so precious, and on a macro level none of this means anything at all. You can't bring your wealth with you when you go. I don't want to live with regret. I want to pursue music and my other passions, something that automation and AI should help us with. Keynes predicted by 2030 we would have a 15 hour work week due to technological progress, allowing us to actually pursue art or our passions and hobbies. But we're not seeing that. We're seeing all of the dividends productivity has granted flow upwards to the ultra wealthy. "Where's my money?"


9. Can't Wait
Contains elements of: "Rare Hi-Five Interview" by World Media. "Straight Up" by Chanté Moore.

Notes: This was probably the second track I made for the album. Shout out to Hi-Five and Chanté Moore. This track was inspired by genres like Deep House and producers like Kaytranada and HANNA who are both geniuses. HANNA is able to imbue so much feeling and emotion into his songs. Just go listen to "I Needed" by him and Kaytranada is a dance music genius. I study his bass lines and drum selection religiously, I have no idea how he stacks those synths lmao I'd be happy if I could even be 1% as talented as him one day but I'm working on it. I'd been hyping up this album for a while, it's crazy that it's about to come out. I wanted this track to kind of capture that feeling excitement and nervousness, since the interviewer asks Hi-Five what the listeners can expect next. The anticipation of rushing to your destiny and living up to your potential. "What are the plans for the future?" 😜 Can't wait another minute..


10. Que Sera
Contains elements of: PS4 sound by Sony.

Notes: This song kind of circles around the idea of an unknown future with a person you really like. Right before that moment you get together, the future is open ended. Will it end in heartbreak or love? Maybe it's everything in between. The first verse is about belonging and self worth. It took me a longg time to have a shred of self confidence, as I constantly use self deprecating humor as a shield to knock myself down. I'm my own worst enemy but I'm getting better at it. Self love and redemption is difficult, but I'm on the road towards a better sense of belonging and of self worth. When I wrote this I was feeling down, and constantly doubting myself. Built from years of doubt from not only myself but from those around me. It's easy to knock yourself down or see any sense of achievement as a fluke. I know this limbo is leading me nowhere but I'm trying. I'm trying to claw my way out. "I can't afford to take you out" even though I can't afford to take anyone out at the moment, I hope the person I end up with would be satisfied with just laying on the grass and watching the stars. Feeling the earth beneath us and the grass in our hair. Looking up at our marble as we spin 67k miles an hour through space. "And I want to know / Why I fall in love like snow?" anyone who knows me knows how many different muses I have because of how quickly I fall in love lmfao. I know it's because that love has nowhere to go, though I'm trying to turn it inwards. To say that I am enough and that I am worthy. I'm just a hopeless romantic 😭😭 Fuck Jon Voight and his Trump bullshit. The outro kind of explains how I've been feeling for a while. I know this sense of time blurring may be new to many people due to COVID, but I've felt that way for a long time. Just watching my life pass by me, with music being the only thing that has anchored me. "I was fucked when you sat down next to me in the library" I wanted this lyric to illustrate the massive impact someone can have on your life. I remember I was a freshman studying on the third floor of Miller Library at Colby, and the girl I had a crush on sat down in the cubicle next to me. I knew I was fucked lmao doomed to love her beyond college. Same girl I wrote about in "Spending the summer with U".

The chorus and the last line is a nod to Vonnegut's 'Slaughterhouse Five' and just repeats one of my favorite phrases my family in Mexico used to say. Whatever happens, happens. If it's meant for you then it will happen. Everything happens for a reason, etc. etc. just another instance of destiny and kind of trusting the process. That the universe or God or spirit or whatever you wish to call it has your back, and that everything happens for a reason. You just need a little faith. I've been there. I've been so resistant to it but it's exhausting. I'm trying to take it day by day now, trying to increase my faith and believe that there is a bigger plan. For me, for all of us. And if you've ever felt doubt or similarly, I hope this resonates with you.


Lyrics:
Can you save me from myself?
'Cause this fucked up sense of self worth is leading me nowhere
I can't afford to take you out
So let's lie down in this grass until the earthworms come around
I'm tired from all the doubt and self deprecation

All these things I can't outrun

And I want to know
Why I fall in love like snow?
Do I want to know?
'Cause that love has nowhere to go

Yeah I know
"So it goes"
So it goes
And I know what you'd say
"Que sera"
Sera
Sera
Sera
Sera
Sera
Sera

But don't take me home
Please don't take me home
'Cause I'm all alone

Yeah I'm all alone..
Yeah I'm all alone

Smoking cigarettes on rooftops
You can't stop
And you look cooler than Jon Voight (in 'Midnight Cowboy' before the bullshit)
My life doesn't revolve around you
Just around the fact that I might play in Greenpoint

And I want to know
Do you fall in love like snow?
Do I want to know?
'Cause I've got nowhere to go

Yeah I know
"So it goes"
So it goes
And I know what you'd say
"Que sera"
Sera
Sera
Sera
Sera
Sera
Sera

Que sera de mi?
Porque la esperanza la perdi
Y solo pienso en ti
Y si preguntas de mi

But don't take me home
Please don't take me home
'Cause I'm all alone

Que sera de mi?
What will I become?
When the weekends blur to months
And my birthday's coming up

Oh my god is it October?
I guess I'm older
I was fucked when you sat down next to me at the library
Working at the art museum
Wrote you letters in the mail

Wondering why the birds fly south
Or why it rains
Will you bring pleasure?
Will you bring pain?

Que sera..